Tuesday 27th November It is one week today since the doctor came to my hospital room to tell me that the biopsy tests results showed I have mesothelioma. He patted me warmly on the hand and said he was sorry but they would know more the next day when all the results were back and would be able to tell me about my treatment.
In the past week I have learnt to say a word I had never really heard of and have come to understand a "little"about this disease caused by asbestos.
It still feels very unreal. I am feeling well and feel like a bit of a fraud to tell loved ones and friends I have a terminal illness!!
Just over a month ago I started to get breathless when I walked up a hill on my general walking path. Over the next few weeks I noticed my incidents of breathlessness increasing. We took our grandchildren camping and while on the camp I was really labouring to walk and exert myself. By the weekend following the camp I had difficulty walking up the steps at home. I was also feeling very lethargic. I went to the doctor on the following Monday evening and he told me he wanted me to go to emergency because I was not breathing correctly from my left lung.
The following day they took 1.9 litres from around my left lung - boy did it feel good to be able to breath again!! I had a CT scan which showed I had a growth in the area behind my shoulder blade in the pleura. I would need to come back to hospital to have a biopsy taken.
I was still not concerned - I was sure it would be benign - I have never had a serious illness and considered myself to be healthy!!
And the other funny thing !! I have no known exposure to abestos - what was there to worry about!!
During this past week, I have felt unbelievable calm and acceptance. I feel ready for whatever I have to do and whatever the outcome will be. I have great faith that my Father in Heaven has a plan for me and - it will all work out for my good. I am in good spirits and both John and I feel positve.
I am booked in to start chemotherapy Thursday of next week. This will probably make the experience feel more real!!